It's 12:15 am and I cannot sleep, I have taken my sleeping pill and yet here I am. So much on my mind. So much has changed since June 2021, you see I have breast cancer, I'm only 51, my hair is starting to fall out, I'm having it cut tomorrow. My neighbor is going to do this for me. You see I have never liked myself with short hair NEVER! Tomorrow it will be short. I keep hoping that I will get to keep most of it, I cannot imagine myself with no hair. I know it's hair it will grow back, it seems so vain to worrying about my hair. I've always kept my hair long and by long I mean half way down my back long. It's kind of ironic how I would complain about my hair being so curly, unruly, frizzy. You know when the humidity is high and you step out side and its instant poof! Why is this such a big deal to me! I mean I'm having my 2nd round of the Red Devil Tuesday, this is potent stuff. And here I am after midnight worrying about how I'm going to look in short...
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Saturday
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Today was a good day, spent it with some of my girls. We had a lot of fun, it was so weird to see them buy things for their apt. and then for them to leave to go to their place. My girls have grown up, and now my granddaughter is half way there. We almost have her room done. The floor is almost done then Makenzie can move her stuff into her room. Mike and I have had some nice talks about what we should do in the future, just kind of getting some ideas that each of us have. I'm hoping that we can come together and get a plan for us. I think that we need to do a lot of praying to see what God wants us today. Maybe He has another plan for us, we will see. I am praying that the rest of the year will be better than the first part. I would like to get back to a little normalcy even if we have to wear a mask for a while. I am excited to get my turn to put my craft room together the way that I dreamed for a long time. I want to find somethings with my grandm...
The House to myself
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I'm sitting in my house ALONE! For me this is a very rare thing. Just sitting here listening to my music. No one is fighting, no one is talking over the other. Literal silence (other than my music) and I'm not sure what to do with my self. Do I go and get somethings done, do I do something that I enjoy, sewing, reading a book, watch a movie that I want to see. Nope I sit here and look at what I need to get the grandkids to go back to school. My kids are grown, living on their own, with the exception one, that lives here with her kids. I still feel it is MY responsibility to make sure that they have what they need or want, because they are my grandkids. I find it hard to switch this off. I have done it their entire lives, mostly because I know their parents really can't afford it, but I really need to switch this off because I need to be looking at our retirement, it will be here before we know it and as of right now we are not prep...
Perfectly Imperfect
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July 22, 2020 I have been talking to God a lot about what is my purpose now. My kids are grown and officially out of the house, with the exception of my oldest and her kids, and she is doing so much more now with them that I'm feeling a little lost. Someone has always needed me for something, rides, dinner, laundry ect. So now its just me and the hubby (which lets face he can be a bit of a child now and again, but what man isn't lol) it's been a horrible year with the Coronavirus, out of work for 2 months ect, we had made plans that this year we were going to GO and do something away from home. Not going back to Indiana which will always be home, but away take some time for ourselves. Now money is a little tighter, partly because we have not been doing any overtime, because we have really liked being home and having weekends even if its just by the pool. So I've been talking to God, I really want to do something I enjoy but somethi...